1. Google’s unveils digital will
Ever wondered what happens to all your user data on Google when you die? No, probably not. Well, until today, nothing happened. This morning, Google released a feature called the Inactive Account Manager, which allows you to set up the automatic deletion after 3, 6, 9, or 12 months of inactivity. Though it might be a little strange to ponder your virtual death, it’s also reassuring to know that those pictures of you hitting the beer bong won’t become part of your internet legacy. [Google, Atlantic]
2. Studies released about part-ape, part-human fossil
A team of scientists at a number of institutions all over the world have released their findings today about Au. sediba, one of our oldest human ancestors. According to the studies, the fossil of Au. sediba, which was discovered just north of Johannesburg, South Africa in 2008, gives insight as to how early humans might have walked, moved, and chewed. If you don’t want to bother reading all of the studies, you could probably get the general gist of them by watching ‘Planet of the Apes’ again. [Science Daily, BBC]
3. Moose enters grocery store in Smithers, B.C.
Yesterday, the Safeway in Smithers, B.C. had a visitor that was about 800 pounds heavier than their average customer. A young, mangy moose wandered nonchalantly through the store for a few minutes before a Safeway employee with an apple in his hand and balls the size of watermelons lured the moose back out the front door. The moose was eventually sedated by local conservation officers, and later died during the relocation process, reaffirming the old saying, an “apple a day gets you tranquilized and then you die.” [CBC]
4. Hollywood’s making a prequel to ‘The Shining’
Glen Mazarra, one of the executive producers of AMC’s The Walking Dead, has said a prequel to ‘The Shining’ is currently in the works. The prequel, called ‘The Overlook Hotel’, is likely going to be great because it’s not too hard to find a better actor than Jack Nicholson and Stanley Kubrick really dropped the ball on the original—no wait, none of that’s true. If you happen to meet anyone involved in the production of this film, please slap them and tell them to stop it right now. [Deadline]
5. We can all stop caring about PSY now
PSY, the South Korean rapper who took over the entire internet with “Gangnam Style”, has released another single called “Gentlemen”. I don’t want to be too much of a spoilsport, but let’s just say “Gentlemen” sounds exactly like “Gangnam Style”, which means we can all move on and start referring to PSY the same way we now refer to the Baha Men or Lou Bega (I apologize for even reminding you that those guys existed). Still, for the next six months you should expect to hear “Gentlemen” playing from the iPod of every kid aged eight to twelve. [Death and Taxes]
Mark Schram grew up on a ranch in southwestern Manitoba and now writes out of Winnipeg. If you would like to offer him a job or ask him about how to pull a calf, you can contact him at email@example.com.