City & Politics, Satire

Missed Connections: Construction hunk/furry hood

In Missed Connections, we will navigate the sweet, the bizarre, and the often ugly world of Craigslist personals. Then we’ll respond to them in an attempt to tickle your funny bone. 

“Taking the 18 – w4m – 20

We both got on the bus at the bay bus station and got off at river and Osborne at around 5 this evening.

You – scruff and dressed as a construction worker

Me – Grey jacket with a furry hood, large backpack and glasses

We seemed (sometimes it’s hard to tell on buses) to have exchanged looks during the duration of our ride. Sometimes you just kind of feel connected with someone with a look and write a mixed connection about it. If you ever actually do read this – what color was your backpack so I know it’s you.”


Dear Furry Hood,

Im the working man of yr dreamz. my scruff protects me from the harsh cold of the winterpeg winters, even tho underneath is the kind of hard, sculpted jaw that you only see on the covers of mens fitness mags.

i was so attracted to your big backpack. It made me think about all the things we could put inside of it. Stuff like picnic food for picnics (not in winter) and all of my tools that i use at my job as a construction worker. it gets me all hot when I think about yr backpack and what we could put in it 😉

Also I was really into yr glasses. Underneath my tough, construction man exterior, i am really an intellectal, just waiting for that special girl to have a rly good conversation with. I could tell by yr glasses that u were that girl. U looked soooo smart. i couldn’t help but keep looking at u. I thought that if we looked at each other long enough, youd be able to tell how smart I was and we could make some connection through espn maybe. I was sending u my thoughts about the sexiest philosophers I could think of (mostly george eliot)

Your grey jacket was soo sexy too. It was one of those poofy looking ones, and i was just wondering about everything that was under all the poofiness. i bet u have really nice shoulder blades. I would like 2 see them. even if you were fully dressed, thats totally cool, I just bet u have really nice shoulder blades and I would like to see them even in the outline of yr shirt.

I totally no what u mean about the connection from a look and i make mixed connections all the time. i luv craigslist. It makes me want to check all the mixed connections, but I think I finally found what im looking for in that poofy jacket with the furry hood 🙂

My backpack is orange coloured and has a NOFX patch on it. let me know if im yr guy. i see letters like yours about me all the time.

hit me up at

PS – if you can take a pic of yr shoulderblades for me thatd be so cool.

Matt Williams is a writer and musician with a stupid sense of humour and a decent fantasy football team. Follow him on Twitter @WaterInHell .

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