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5 things you absolutely must know today

Every morning, we scour the Internet and vet what we believe are the five things you absolutely need to know for the day. Join this mailing list to receive 5 things you absolutely must know today every morning, Monday to Friday.

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Shad to be new Q host

Shad, the Toronto-based rapper remembered in bed this morning as the guy behind that Rose Garden song, has been chosen for the high-paying, high-profile role hosting CBC’s Q, Jian Ghomeshi’s old show. Shadrach Kabango impressed the CBC while filling in for a week-long stint at Q after CBC canned Ghomeshi for allegedly doing a lot of heinous and violent things to a lot of women. [Source: Globe and Mail]

Utah considers bringing back death by firing squad

Utah’s red rocks are gorgeous. And the one KOA campground I stayed at was perfect. It’s this same state that is considering bringing back the use of firing squads to implement death penalties, if effective lethal injection drugs are not available. Supposedly, there is a nationwide shortage of these drugs, prompting other states to consider alternatives, as well. In some cases, where ineffective drugs have forced those deemed deserving of death – by people with no darkness in their lives – to suffer for long periods of time, lawmakers in Utah believe firing squad is the humane approach. The bill passed senate, but has yet to be signed into law by Utah Governor Gary Herbert. Agreed, suffering is terrible, but there’s strange philosophy at play here. [Source: BBC]

Michael Bolton as Michael Bolton in Office Space

You should know, today, that Funny or Die has replaced Michael Bolton with the singer Michael Bolton in a few, hilarious “Office Space” scenes. The result: hilarity. Find video here: Death and Taxes

Taber seems like a nice, shiny place to bottle things up

You can’t swear in public in Taber, Alberta. Did you know that? You can’t hork in public, either. And you certainly can’t scream. Taber council passed a bylaw making these things illegal and fineable. It’s unclear whether walking down a street in the 8,000 plus community and screaming (remember, this is not allowed) swear words would cost the first and second offence rate, $150 and $250, or if city officials would cut me some slack. This smacks of the same difficulties people have with staying quiet in libraries. Don’t you want to go to Taber to swear in public a little bit? The bylaw includes other things such as 11 p.m. curfews for teenagers, not gathering in groups larger than three – you know, those totally normal things. So, the next time a pastor plays the-world-is-getting-more-evil card in his or her sermon, haul out Taber, Alta as counterpoint. [Source: CBC]

Ferguson manager and judge resign after federal report reveals racial bias

Ferguson, Missouri city manager John Shaw’s resignation was unanimously accepted Tuesday, after a federal report revealed widespread racial prejudice in their police department. Shaw was in charge of personnel changes on the force as well as police policy. The city’s municipal judge has also resigned. The city has been under scrutiny since white police officer Darren Wilson shot and killed unarmed, black teenager, Michael Brown. The federal report blasting the city was released last week. [Source: BBC]

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Follow Toban Dyck at @tobandyck.

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